Okay, okay. I get it, I promised we’d come back to the K-Pop thing.
So here’s the deal, my sister is awesome. Please, don’t tell her I said that. When we were kids yes, we fought all the time, but we also got along. Her best friend was my best friend’s older sister, which worked out pretty great. So even when we weren’t hanging out, we were kinda hanging out. We watched the same movies over and over, we liked similar books, and we listened to -mostly- the same music.
We would sit around the house singing the same boy band theme song on repeat. The best part, was we never had to argue over who was dating which Backstreet Boy. Dear sister, please take Nick, I like Brian.
To this day, if we hear “Oh My God, We’re Back Again!” we will find a place to dance. Even if we’re walking through the zit cream aisle at Walmart, we dance. My brother-in-law’s brother’s wedding? That dance floor was ours. That’s quality sister time right there.
So when she sent me a message on AIM in 2007, and said “Just listen, you’ll like it. It’s mostly in English.” and I wound up on YouTube watching a K-Pop star named BoA, I was trusting her. She was right. I did like it. So I sent her a crazy song I had heard called “Numa Numa,” and she promptly sent me the real song, and the actual video; “Dragostea din tei”, by the band O-Zone. So guess what? It’s not just Korean. We listen to music in tons of languages. She’s the linguist, not me. I just followed her blindly into the foreign music section on YouTube.
Jenny, yes my sister has a name, has this weird superpower. Over the years she has honed this superpower that allows her to look at the cover of a book, board game, movie, or the still from a music video; and know if I’ll like it. And because my sister is awesome -seriously, don’t tell her- she always makes sure I see it. Even though she emailed me the YouTube link a month earlier, she’ll happily play it for me when we’re in the same room again.
So K-Pop. In 2007, my sister sent me one video. Ever since then, I’ve been poking around the internet finding more music to like. Then there they were. BTS. They’re like BSB with sleeker fashion, and way more intricate dance moves. It was like discovering boy bands all over again, because I had in fact, discovered a new boy band again. I started listening. I have to listen to more and more, and suddenly, my daughter is singing Mic Drop. Well then you’ll love this song!
So here we are. My sister’s random risk in 2007, has given me some of my favorite mommy daughter time. We thank her for our K-Pop obsession, and for my daughter singing PSY songs almost flawlessly. How? Maybe she’s as awesome as my sister…
I, am an expert at everything.
It is a powerful feeling knowing that I can pick apart what went wrong in a chef’s food, or why your dance isn’t getting a full score. I can tell you when your voice is flat and when your wooden floors have warped due to moisture build up underneath. Don’t even get me started on your medical protocols. Sorry. Didn’t I mention that I was an expert reality tv show judge? Oops.
I can’t be the only one that watches these shows and picks up on all the hints. You know when the chief is going to bench the doctor, or the officer. You know when the dancers are going to lose half a point for not pointing their toe, and another half a point for not holding their frame properly. Who cares if the beams have holes in them when the contractor added the air ducts? I’ll tell you who cares, Johnathan Scott and me.
But you can’t tell when someone’s a pitchy dog just from a few shows here and there, oh no. You must watch these shows religiously, and not the same one over and over either. To become an expert in everything, one must experience everything. You can’t simply see a few red kitchen vs blue kitchen cook offs and know that the scallops are burnt. No madam. You must drive the food trucks through Padma’s pantry to become the next Food Master Star Chef. You need to watch all of them. Daily. Even at the gym you need to know if the house is being loved or listed.
Study the different judges and see what influences their scores. Are they prone to crying when someone mentions how hard their parents worked to put them through <insert your category> school? Does the judge fan themselves with their papers any time a man rips his shirt open? Hint: they’re not the ones you want to learn from. You want to look at the ones that get dissed for being misers. Strict, rule abiding judges, that constantly get booed. Well, I don’t mean to be rude but, these are usually the judges that are trying to uphold the integrity of the subject matter. But please, don’t follow them blindly. These are usually the guys with a soft spot for dogs that do tricks to jazzy music.
The point I’m trying to make here is this. I watch entirely too much television, and I have no limits to how many of the same show I will watch.
“So, what do you do in your spare time?”
“I enjoy some creative writing on occasion.”
“Oh cool! Do you have a blog?”
I hear this all the time. Go to an interview; why not? Meet a new person; how come? Old friends; yet?
Well let me explain this for you. Yes, I do write things. Randomly. About random things. Blogs are supposed to be about specific topics that you hold some sort of self-granted expertise on, right? Well usually anyway. I always thought, what can I write, that other people don’t already write? No idea! So, I have nothing to write about.
Let us also factor into all of this, that these random things are written at random times. I don’t have a writing schedule. See? I missed my seven-day mark already! Or was that to make a point? No, it really wasn’t. I’m just bad with personal deadlines. So why torture myself with blog posts that won’t make sense and won’t be posted on time?
Stressful blog posts about a bunch of random crap, that will be thrown on a page at random times; who wants to read that? Nobody. So why do I have a blog now? Because there’s no rules!
I’m not writing a blog for a business. I’m not trying to promote anything. Not yet anyway. There are no rules about the number of posts, or how frequent, or what about. I’m writing for me, so why not dip my toe into the blog pool? Why not try to get a writing schedule down? The only thing it will do is give me a creative outlet that doesn’t get paint under my nails. What’s the worst that can happen? Nobody reads my blog? Their loss buddy! Because I’m entertainment. My bunch of random crap is going to be a hilarious highlight of your day.
So, what can you expect when you come here every week? Hopefully, every week. Entertainment. Didn’t you hear? Last weekend, I was a DJ in Florida.
My child looked to me with excitement in her eyes and said, “Mommy! Let’s go upstairs!” Of course, I agreed and followed her curiously as she scooped an armful of princess dolls into her arms along with some pink plastic furniture. I stood at the bottom of the stairs where she announced we were going to fly to Florida now. “Yes, Captain! Ready for takeoff!” We climbed the stairs, and I leaned on the door frame as she set up a blanket on the floor, and arranged boxes and the plastic bed and couch in the corner. Quickly followed by a barricade of hampers, toy baskets, and the giant Pikachu that was the same size as her a year ago.
“What is this?” I ask. I am promptly told that this is the hotel in Florida, and Pikachu is serving as the guard cat so no non-princess dolls can enter the hotel. I’m shown the garage for the toy cars and monster trucks, who have their own private door at the hotel. She marches past me and enters my room with all of her dolls as I watch curiously. Naturally, I follow her and watch as she takes a large empty container and sets up the pillows where her dolls take turns lounging. I only just manage to get my hands up to catch the remote for the television as she tosses it to me. “Pool parties need music!” She declares.
She’s the captain of this excursion after all. That is when I knew. Tonight, I would be a Floridian DJ. Proud, I flip the power button and navigate us to Youtube, where she expressly screams for BLACK PINK! The first time the K-pop singers say their name, the party is on. The princesses started a diving contest, and I was the judge from atop my DJ booth. Obviously, the Barbie in the swimsuit had magic mermaid powers and was declared the winner, with the best dive from atop the nearby rock formation; Mount Duvet.
As the dolls slow clapped the flawless dive, DJ Miss Brittany Mommy declared a dance-off. To my daughter’s surprise, the articulated dolls won. They danced the BTS choreography nearly perfect. Well, in slow motion anyway. And just like that, the clock struck bedtime. “Just one more song from the best DJ ever!?” Well, how could I say no? The crowd wasn’t ready to call it a night. Twice, another K-pop girl group. (We’ll discuss our K-pop addiction later, stay in Florida will you?)
As the song went off, I saw my daughter learning the dance moves. This must be how my parents watched my sister and me in amazement as we absorbed every dance move the Backstreet Boys ever rocked their bodies to.
At the end of the night, my daughter had a smile, a new Barbie hotel, and I had a new job title to add to my resume. I had run one of the best pool parties Florida had ever seen, and I didn’t even have to go to Florida for it.
“Ah, the imagination children have.” I thought, “I shall recapture mine in this year. I shall travel impossible distances, collect my dream jobs, and spend quality time while making memories with my child!”
So here we are. Brittany; blogger, writer, DJ.
Where else shall we go I wonder?….