I’m Baaaack!

Ok, ok. I get it, I went MIA for no reason. But while I do apologize, I’m glad I did. So now I guess I owe you all an explanation? Well, if you insist. I was powering through my crappy first draft of my inevitably horrible first novel and hit a wall. Forget writer’s block, the ink formed a whole dam. It was terrifying. It got to the point that I was having nightmares about drowning in the dripping ink from a fountain pen…despite the fact that I write on a computer… Maybe my brain just likes to think I’m vintage? I’m not sure. But it was very frustrating. So unable to continue writing, I went back to plotting. I went back to my characters to flesh them out more, but they still wouldn’t talk to me. I went back to the setting and drew a map, and sketched images of the town, but nothing happened. I tried to check my plot for holes in the story, but I couldn’t see any. I had reached the stage of writing where you put the manuscript away before edits. Usually a satisfying time, I’d hit it about 8 chapters too soon. It was disappointing and it put me in a funk. Around this time, I started a new job. Though I loved my job, there just wasn’t any work to be done, and I found myself doing projects that got put on a shelf for so long that nobody involved remembered where to take the work when it came time to use it. That sort of position leaves you feeling very un-utilized, and bored. So, I found me a new job. And let me tell you, I cannot be bored in this new office. Ever. So, I was very busy, my brain was on hyper drive after months and months of work days that only contained about 2 hours of work. By the end of the day, I was mentally exhausted. Learning a new job, not even five minutes to breathe, traffic (everyone knows about this one), taking care of my child, and then still having to do things like bills, and Girl Scout paperwork. There was just no way that I was going to be able to put in any decent writing time, so I didn’t. Before I knew it, two weeks of training had turned into two months of hitting maximum velocity. “It’s alright,” I told myself, “I have a few short stories pre-loaded on my site’s draft page. I’ll just hit publish on Monday to keep with my posting day.” We clearly see how well that worked out. But I can’t be too upset. In this time off, I was able to sort out some personal things (I’m a bit of a pack rat….but maybe not in the future?), I’m settling into my new job, I have my next year of scouts planned for my troop, and I was actually able to do some art pieces. I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I’ve involved myself with art, and it makes me feel so happy. Long story short, sometimes when you hit that wall of writer’s block, you need to drown in the ink and focus on another part of your life for a while. Forcing yourself to finish something you’re not able to do naturally isn’t the way to achieve things. It’s the way to make trash. Everyone’s process is different. Unfortunately, I was not gifted with the wonder that is multiple focus. Once I hit a block, I have to completely shift gears for a while. I shouldn’t have let my blog go for so long, but I’m back. I’ve read through some of the comments left on my old posts, and it has reignited my writing focus. It warms my soul to see complete strangers supporting one another, and I appreciate each and every one of you. Now, we return you to your regularly schedule programming. I hope…

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