Forget Adulting. Today I Don’t Even Want To Human.

I am NOT a morning person. I have alarms set for 5:30, 5:45, and 6:00 am. They overlap each other and play every five minutes. I still don’t get out of bed until 6:10 am most days. I try to switch up my alarms, but they are currently meant to send me a message.

5:30 am – No More Dream: BTS

5:45 am – Right Now: PSY

6:00 am – Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Theme: Power Rangers

Here’s what my brain interprets this as:

No More Dream – It’s time to wake up! You’ve heard the alarm, and whatever you were dreaming about is gone, so you might as well get up. ~Snooze

Right Now – Seriously, you’re going to be late if you don’t get up right this minute! ~Snooze

Go Go Power Rangers! – It’s time to kick some behind, get up and go!

So, when I do finally get up, I have a strange mix of music in my head, and I have to take a minute to blind myself as I stare at my phone screen to make sure all the alarms are turned off because I don’t live by my lonesome. Once the alarms are off, I go to the bathroom and get my hair brushed, and brush my teeth, and try to remember what I was dreaming about. Can I turn it into a book? Short story? Flash fiction? Nope, it’s gone. Oh well.

Then I have to listen to something that makes me want to adult for the rest of the day. I have to wake up my mini-me and get ready for work, get her ready for school, and get us out the door on time. Then I have to drive like I have some sense in my head. Then I have to be at work for 9 hours. If you’re not a morning person, you know this is the worst thing in the world. You have to get up early, be productive, then go to work and be a functioning adult.

But I have days, like today perhaps, where I don’t want to adult. I don’t even really want to human. Being a human means you have to be awake, productive, and move around. I’d much rather be a cat today. Even dogs have too much energy for my level of awareness today. Cats can just lay around the house staring at things, occasionally chase loose strings, and wait for some human to come in the house to feed them. Doesn’t even matter what human it is, they come in, you appear, there’s food. That sounds good to me!

Ok, so I should be writing, but I can’t do that at work, so I wouldn’t be writing anyway, right? So why not spend the day laying in the sunlight and hiding under random pieces of furniture? I feel like that would be an epic reset button. When you’re struggling to find motivation at work when you have writer’s block when you’re not feeling well, when you have to get up at unnatural hours of the day because you’re expected to work; take a day to cat even if it’s just part of a Sunday. Just veg out, don’t do anything. Make your to-do list in your head if you have to, but don’t write it down, don’t act on it. Just exist for a few hours, and you’d be amazed how much more you can focus afterward.

So, forget adulting. Tonight, I’m going to be a cat.

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